The New Amsterdam Fireball

The New Amsterdam Fireball

The New Amsterdam Fireball

2.5 ounces of Haselkamp Jenever Gin
1 ounce of Fireball Cinnamon whiskey
An empty WD-40 can

A long time ago I was backpacking through Amsterdam with my cousin, Lagunas Finn, and his buddy, Smilo Parchmont. Smilo was convinced that the Amsterdamians were harboring several fugitives from a recent string of house robberies in St. Louis, a crime spree locally known as “The Lamp is Alight Campaign.” I warn the reader not to confuse this with the “A Lamp is a Light” advertising campaign, which was General Electric’s failed attempt to sell lava lamps back in the late 60’s. Anyway, Smilo arranged a sting operation and camped out across the street from the hostel in which he believed the robbers to be hiding. If we saw Smilo hang a lantern out of his window, it meant that Smilo had apprehended the robbers. If we saw two lanterns however, we would know that our friend was in grave peril and immediately rush to his aid. What we saw was a panicked Lagunas drop both lanterns onto a Persian rug, causing the entire hostel and half of the buildings on Kalverstraat Street to burn to the ground. He was charged with arson and attempted murder and we never saw him again. Remembering all this puts me in the mood for a New Amsterdam Fireball. To make one, stir your ingredients carefully in an empty WD-40 can; keep away from any open flames until entirely consumed. Lest the old traditions fail.

Sincerely,
Roger Sherman III