Keystone Bucket Challenge



One bucket of Keystone Light beer
Icy-cold resolve

Thank you to Alpha Delta and Psi Upsilon for nominating me for the Keystone Bucket Challenge! I would like to nominate Sigma Alpha Epsilon, Kappa Kappa Kappa, Bone’s Gate, and the Pan-Hellenic Council. You have 24 hours to complete the challenge, or you must surrender your hard alcohol. I am doing this to raise awareness of the scourge that has already wiped out two of our fellow fraternities. As I speak, a certain committee (with only a single affiliated member) is meeting in secret with the express and uncompromising intention to rid Dartmouth College of every last vestige of our beloved Greek system that began so long ago in 1842. They may appear to be well-intentioned or willing to negotiate, but make no mistake, they are in this for the long-haul. If at first they ban hard liquor, next they will force fraternities and sororities to go local. If they accomplish this, they will then demand that all of them become co-educational. From there, the Greek System will grow to resemble undergraduate societies, until these too are marginalized and destroyed.

Do not think for a second that good behavior will satisfy them. They are on a crusade to close you regardless of what you do. I beseech my sisters of the Pan-Hellenic Council to wake up and realize that if the fraternities fall, they will too: Title IX goes both ways. To any and all who believe that making concessions or goodwill gestures will stop them, do not delude yourself. You cannot appease a group that has uncompromising demands: do not let them take the Sudetenland. I beg you, I implore you, make this stand. Draw the line on the Green. If not here, then where? Time is running out. If not now, then when?

By Lt. Breaker Morant