Dean Johnson Knows What You Want


“I get it”Although students have doubted many of Dean Johnson’s controversial policies, especially the “harm reduction policies” implemented this past summer (while three fourths of the student body was off campus); there is no need to worry because Supreme Overlord Dean Johnson knows exactly what the students want!

“There is what I like to call a silent majority of students who are 110 percent behind this policy,” Johnson said in an interview with the Daily D. “But they say it to me — they don’t necessarily say it publicly.”

So, for all of you who don’t think that Dean Johnson is taking student input into account, don’t fret. She will craft policies based around exactly what the student body and this nebulous “silent majority” want.

Well, as long as what they want is what she wants, too.

After many students cited costs as a reason against the proposed rule requiring licensed bartenders to serve hard alcohol at parties, Johnson reassured students that “we won’t let the need for financial subsidies prevent us from going forward.”

“Going forward” must mean whatever Johnson wants it mean, because I have encountered very few students who support her vision. In fact, it is much more common for students to voice concerns about not only the direction of Johnson’s plan, but also its lack of transparency and cooperation with the student body.

Perhaps we as students are not doing a good enough job of taking a stand against predatory administrative measures, but a culture in which the Dean of the College claims to best know what we want, when the truth is clearly opposite, is distressing.

If changes are to take place, it is imperative that the student body’s input not just ostensibly adds to the process, but guides it the entire way. Perhaps we are too busy with studying and other commitments, or maybe we are just being apathetic, but we cannot let an overbearing and indifferent administration gloss over student concerns.

In other news, there is a great Twitter account profiling the life of Dean Charlotte “I get it” Johnson.


— Carl E. Marlborough IV