Dartmouth Review Outsourced to India

Former Dartmouth Review editor Andrew Grossman ’02 will announce at a conference later today that all Dartmouth Review operations will be outsourced to India immediately.

Mr. Grossman attributed the move to the poor quality of current Dartmouth students and concerns about competition in the Hanover newspaper market. “I blame it on affirmative action and grade inflation, plain and simple. Something’s up when students’ average GPA is 4.0, but half of them can’t write a grammatical English sentence,” said Mr. Grossman. “The last time I was in Hanover, it felt like Ithaca,” he added.

Relocating the Review to India is just the latest of several recent cost-cutting measures undertaken since the departure of fundraiser John MacGovern in 2002. “We moved the staff to bottom-shelf bourbon and Scotch last year,” said retiring editor Ryan Gorsche. “Nobody noticed.” Additonally, the paper dramatically reduced overhead expenses by giving up its offices, and ongoing expenses by ceasing publication for two terms. “Nobody noticed,” said Gorsche.

Former Review publisher Charles Kluender will stay on as president of the Review and will direct editorial and business operations in Bangalore. According to former president Thomas Camp, “Kleunder sat down in the office and said he wouldn’t move until we made him president. It was fine with me.” Mr. Camp added that concerns about Kluender’s health in recent years have been overblown and that Kluender will finish out his term as president. “Yeah, he’s doing alright. Maybe he’ll stay on for another year or two. Wouldn’t surprise me.”

Additionally, Nilanjan Banerjee, a Brahmin and until recently of Microsoft, will return to the Review as director of human resources.

As of this afternoon, new issues of The Dartmouth Review will be produced in Bangalore, India, and, as appropriate, in Thailand, where the former staff of the Harvard Crimson has been retained. Issues will continue to be printed in Argentina, where Mr. Kluender “knows a guy.”

This announcement also marks the end of the Review and the Dartmouth Free Press‘s joint operating agreement, which began one year ago today. Due to the two staffs’ radically different vices and mutual antagonism, the JOA was unable to attain the savings that either paper had hoped for.

The Dartmouth Review is Dartmouth’s only independent newspaper and is produced weekly biweekly monthly by Dartmouth students. The Review was founded in 1980 by disgruntled former staff of the Daily Dartmouth, which claims to be America’s oldest college newspaper but really isn’t.