To All The Seniors

In honor of your impending graduation, allow me to provide the most valuable gift I can offer: one piece of advice that would have saved me a great deal of trouble around this time last year. Simply put, there is NO REASON to attend the commencement rehearsal. DON’T GO. Its only purpose is for those who have hard-to-pronounce names to make sure the person who will be calling theirs at commencement has it right. For everyone else, it’s useless. You will learn nothing you couldn’t have figured out in 2 minutes the following morning. Last year, I found myself listening to the Senior Class Dean share that I should always, “be what you is, not what you isn’t, because if you is what you isn’t, then you isn’t what you is.” Hungover, at 9 in the morning. Please, don’t let that happen to you.

Congratulations, and have a great last few days in Hanover.