The disOrientator

The disOrientator

The disOrientator

-1 unopened can of Keystone Lite, found in a frat dumpster
-The last dregs from a handle of Smirnoff, left over from the pregame that just ended
-The duty-free bottle of Scotch that Grampa gave you
Blue Powerade from the BisCoh vending machine
-Mix ingredients in that water bottle from orientation

It was a foggy Wednesday night in Hanover, and newly matriculated students were gathering in the Bissell residence hall. Katie Smith logged off Canvas and shut her computer with a sigh. There would be just enough time to get eight hours of sleep and work out at Alumni Gym before class. Unfortunately, the adjacent room was hosting a pregame. Lying awake in bed, Katie tried to ignore the booming music coming from next door, but the paper-thin dorm walls were no match for the blaring voice of Iggy Azalea. There’s no use in trying to fall asleep at this hour anyways, Katie assessed, I might as well go out for an hour until things calm down. Soon after meeting up with her Bissell 1 floormates and a few cups of disOrientator, the pack of ‘18s decided to make the long march to McLaughlin where a supposedly “even doper” pregame was taking place.

Holding her breath while passing by the GDX dumpster, Katie’s mind began to wander. I wonder what frats are like, she wondered as a group of laughing ’17s stumbled past. After an hour spent on Berry 2 and dizzy from both exhaustion and sound pollution, Katie escaped the claustrophobic two-room double and absconded into the chilly September night. Safely back inside the Choates, the girl collapsed on her bed and half-consciously set her iPhone’s alarm for 9:50AM—she would wake up just in time for her 10A.

By Bitzi Baxter