The D-Lite

The D-Lite

Ingredients:

Keystone Light— sacrifice taste for everything else

A bottle Bitters— enough for alumni, students, and the college’s bank account to enjoy

Pennies— can substitute with any other type of essentially useless change

Combine in a cocktail shaker decorated with a print-out of a 2nd grader’s Dr. Seuss themed-MS Paint project

 

One leaf,

Two leaf,

White Pine

In a D.

Yes. Some are pines. And some are a lone.

Some are old. And this one’s new.

Some are sad.

And some are glad.

But either way, this logo is very, very bad.

Why are they

Sad and glad and bad?

I do totally know.

It makes tradition mad.

Excuses are thin.

And loads are fat

Moving Dartmouth Forward

is tit for tat.

From there to here, from here to there,

funny things

are everywhere.

Where do they come from? I can say—

I bet US News Rankings force them to pay.

We see them come,

We see them go.

Traditions will hold fast

And these changes are slow.

Say!

Look at Hanlon’s fingers!

One, two, three…

How many fingers

Do I see?

One. Only one.

The middle one.

 

— Scotch Cara