The Big Green

I apologize for weighing in sorta late on the Big Green mascot thing which seems to have come up again, but I would just like to publicly announce that I have recently become a big fan of the “Big Green” mascot/slogan/thing. Ever since I came to Dartmouth, I thought it was really stupid, but I changed my mind when I started to really think about it.

The key is trying to figure out what in the hell whoever came up with the Big Green was thinking, and why they would choose the Big Green. So, go ahead and ask yourself:

What’s big and green and associated with Dartmouth (anyone answering “the green” gets shot)?

A: Boot, obviously.

Yes, folks: we are the only college in the country with a mascot theme of getting ridiculously drunk and vomitting (at least I think we are, anyone who knows of another college please blitz me immediately). Clearly whoever came up with it was a brilliant individual and figured that Dartmouth students would be intelligent enough to catch the reference immediately (insert your own Harvey Mansfield joke here).

Now that we’ve discovered this (note the sweet use of the royal we), we can take advantage of this brilliant plan. Imagine: we can actually have chants again. I’m thinking maybe “Boot on Harvard,” but we can have some liberal protest-attending type come up with some more clever chant that starts with either “hey hey ho ho” or “1, 2, 3, 4.”

Furthermore, I think it’s awesome that we’re embracing our Animal House/heavy drinking tradition, which, let’s face it, is much more academically interesting than the tradition of educating Indians.