Occupy The Toilet

Massacred nursery rhymes…how Grimm.The following massacred nursery rhymes are taped to the bathroom stall doors in the ladies’ room in the HOP. As girls innocently use the restroom we have to be subjected to this? It’s not even witty in the least. I’m so proud of how well Dartmouth students have mastered irony.

Mother Goose is crying. 


“Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.  Jack fell down and broke his crown, but Jill didn’t help him because those are her tax dollars.”

“The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout.  Down came the rain and washed the spider out.  Out came the sun and dried up all the rain, so the itsy bitsy spider bought into capitalism again.”

“Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep and doesn’t know where to find them.  Leave them alone and they’ll come home. Oh wait they can’t because her home has been foreclosed.”

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.  Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.  All the king’s horses and all the king’s men didn’t help Humpty Dumpty because he wasn’t insured.”

Thank goodness they left Miss Muffet out of it.  She would not be amused.

–Meghan Hassett