Sex Rules?

by James S.C. Baehr

Students were disgusted, offended, and embarrassed, and the administration says the event was meant to be educational. Consensus on freshman orientation’s mandatory ‘Sex Rules!" lecture is difficult to come by on campus, and alumni, watching from the sidelines, are even more confused about what the College is doing to prepare first year students for life on campus.

Though the College has experimented with different types of sex education programs recently, this year’s has been the most controversial.

Last year’s "He Said, She Said" caused a small stir for the negativity of its content. A female graduate of William and Mary College, who had been the victim of a sexual assault in college, talked about her experiences. The event, which was not mandatory, drew about one third of the class, according to Leigh Remy, the Assistant Dean of First-Year Students and the coordinator for orientation.

The College made this year’s sexual education event mandatory and changed the tone of the event to focus on "sexual decision-making and sexual behaviors as a broader issue" to engage more students, said Remy.

Remy, in an interview with the Review, drew a line on a piece of paper to illustrate the continuum of student opinion on sex. "There are people here who are completely celibate, people who are postponing sex, people who engage in recreational sex, people who engage in abusive sex, and people who are sexually assaulting. We need to focus on this whole range, not just sexual abuse." She pointed to the recreational sex through sexual assault categories and denied that "we were only speaking to this group of people." That, she said, "wasn’t really the intent; the purpose was to speak to everyone and to really prevent abusive relationships on campus and prevent sexual assault."

The College hired Maria Falzone for the job after the Health Resources Department reviewed videotapes and recommendation from other programmers. Falzone, a self-described "sexpert" and comedian (and also, according to her voicemail greeting, a Mary Kay Cosmetics saleswoman), performs the "Sex Rules!" lecture at colleges all over the country. The talent firm she works for pitches her lecture as "wildly popular…after 5 years on the college circuit" and "the nation’s #1 safer sex and AIDS awareness program." Gabriel Lucke, a Health Resources Department employee, said Falzone was chosen because she is known for "being able express a broad range of sexual decision making views and issues in a more light funny way [compared to] a dry, talking-head lecture." Falzone’s lecture is "edu-tainment," said Lucke.

Falzone’s lecture touched upon subjects ranging from communicating with your partner to anal sex and masturbation tips. Remy said she hoped students would pick up on the parts of the lecture that encouraged them to communicate better with their partners, make careful decisions about becoming sexually active, and learn to respect the feelings of their roommates while being intimate in their presence.

Many students seem to remember the more shocking parts of the program, including portions offering men and women masturbation tricks with lubricants and multiple condoms and the suggestion to use Saran Wrap as added protection when engaging in anal sex. "I learned how a middle-aged Italian lady masturbates with mirrors," said Jon Hampton ’05. "That’s about it."

Falzone’s discussion and vivid description of sexual behavior disturbed freshmen spoken to by the Review. Bruce Gago, a freshman, wrote in the Review that the lecture "was repugnant in its descriptions and offensive in its language." Falzone "tried to shock us into submission—I can only hope she failed. Her message should not be tolerated by Dartmouth, much less sanctioned."

Ms. Lucke in the Health Resources Department says that many students to whom she has spoken enjoyed the event, including upper classmen. "I know members of the ‘04 class who saw last year's program and this one who said it was much better to not just be talking about rape and sexual assault," said Lucke.

Remy said that Dean Gail Zimmerman of the First-Year office attended the event as well as Abby Tassel, a Health Resources employee. None were surprised by Falzone’s performance. "Her candor was what we expected," said Remy, "In our review of our planning process, we had seen a tape of outtakes of her performance."

Counseling is offered to students who were offended by the sex talk, or any orientation activity, said Remy. "Students are always welcome to go to the counseling center and the Dean’s Office." Remy also noted that students can also participate in next year’s orientation planning through the Dean’s Office.

The College has not yet decided how "sexual orientation" will be handled for the class of 2006. "It’s too early to tell because I want to get the student feedback on the orientation evaluations," said Remy. "In any type of program you have a continuum of student opinion, there are some people who will be pleased with the outcome and some people will be unhappy with the outcome… What's important for me is, ‘Did you learn something from it?,’ and ‘Did it challenge something you believed?,’ and, really, ‘Did you learn something?" There is no doubt that students learned something from the lecture and that it challenged beliefs. The more pertinent question of which messages they took from the lecture and the value of that message is another story entirely.

Lucke said that the College would warn students of the vulgar language if they do the same talk in the future if it plans a similar event. "The committee has already talked about that and for next year we will indicate that there is sexually explicit language so that people know ahead of time and can make the choices they need to."