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The Green Keynote

The Green Keynote

Absinthe A touch of lime Half a can of Sprite Mint to garnish The hair of the dog Hard alcohol ban? Well, technically the Green is property of the town… Read more »

The D.R.A.

The D.R.A.

One last swig of Irish whisky Collin Michaels lay prone in the snow, his panting breath melting the glistening crystals before him. The trees around him spun before his eyes,… Read more »

Seventh-Hole Slurp

Seventh-Hole Slurp

1oz 40 proof whiskey 1tsp maple syrup 1tbs bacon fat When I was a freshman at Dartmouth, back in the fall of 1965, we were still digging up barrels of… Read more »

The Winter Campfire

The Winter Campfire

One handle of Fireball Whiskey A shot of Sriracha A can of Red Bull A Canada Goose parka Bowman’s soaked pineapple to garnish Winter Storm Juno is rolling in. It’s… Read more »

The Conference Cocktail

The Conference Cocktail

Vodka Orange Juice Thousands of strains of the flu virus This year, just like every other year, the top scientists from the FDA and CDC are meeting to determine which… Read more »

The Corporate Screwdriver

The Corporate Screwdriver

1 cup complimentary orange juice 1 flask vodka 1 actual Phillips head screwdriver 1 medium sized wooden mallet Your first info session was for a consulting firm, where you heard… Read more »

The PhD (Piled Higher and Deeper)

The PhD (Piled Higher and Deeper)

¾ oz Vodka ¾ oz Gin ½ oz Triple Sec ½ oz Lime Juice 1 Doctorate Degree Tenure It is Saturday night, near midnight. A group of Dartmouth professors gathers… Read more »

Keystone Bucket Challenge

Keystone Bucket Challenge

One bucket of Keystone Light beer Icy-cold resolve Thank you to Alpha Delta and Psi Upsilon for nominating me for the Keystone Bucket Challenge! I would like to nominate Sigma… Read more »

Midterm Mélange

Midterm Mélange

Two shots of absinthe A half-cooked, mostly-still-liquid FoCo cookie A shot of KAF espresso Procrastination It’s four in the morning. You’ve just woken up. After quickly calculating the time it… Read more »

The disOrientator

The disOrientator

-1 unopened can of Keystone Lite, found in a frat dumpster -The last dregs from a handle of Smirnoff, left over from the pregame that just ended -The duty-free bottle… Read more »