Big Weekend Energy
“We’re going big. We’re going hard,” declared the sophomoric SAE pledge. “It’s Winter Carnival? You know what that means? Big. Weekend. Energy. We’re going to…
Barrett’s Mixology
The Shameful Sip
Ingredients– White Claw– Self-loathing– A small penis – Pumpkin spice seasoning Have you ever felt your black cherry white claw just wasn’t festive enough? Well,…
A Man of God
Ingredients– Monkey 47– Individually bottled Mediterranean fever tree tonic water – $600 New England leather shoes– Desperate Housewives – A sear sucker suit & a cigar– Massachusetts’ home grown finest – A summer of intensive…
The Appalachian Absinthe
Ingredients – 50 oz absinthe – 50 g organic cane sugar – 50 mL iodine creek water or urine – 10 bottles 5-hour energy –…
To Our Esteemed Colleague
Ingredients — Handle of Granite State Vodka, priced at $6.79 — Leave off jacket, coat, long pants, and dignity. Dear old Dartmouth, give a rouse…
The D-Lite
The D-Lite Ingredients: Keystone Light— sacrifice taste for everything else A bottle Bitters— enough for alumni, students, and the college’s bank account to enjoy Pennies—…
The Moscow Mueller
2 ounces Nemiroff 1 ounce fresh squeezed lie juice 4 ounces Ginger Beer Shake with ICE Garnish, serve in Copper Mug Shot It’s 2AM in…
The Ban-Ender
The Ban-Ender 3 Keystone Lights, warm and half-foam 2 banned Jell-O shots that weren’t in the fridge long enough Buckets of sweat from an intense…
The Seal-Breaker
Ingredients 1 beer multiplied by 2 shots of cheap whiskey The week after Homecoming was a rough one for W.A Bénak, and not just because…
Wheelock’s Fountain of Youth
Gallons of New England Rum Gallons of Malaga Wine Pounds of sugar Hundreds of lemons Dozens of limes 1 pound of nutmeg ’Twas a…