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The Moscow Mueller

The Moscow Mueller

2 ounces Nemiroff 1 ounce fresh squeezed lie juice 4 ounces Ginger Beer Shake with ICE Garnish, serve in Copper Mug Shot It’s 2AM in the city full of creeps…. Read more »

The Ban-Ender

The Ban-Ender

The Ban-Ender 3 Keystone Lights, warm and half-foam 2 banned Jell-O shots that weren’t in the fridge long enough Buckets of sweat from an intense pong rally 1 cup of… Read more »

The Seal-Breaker

The Seal-Breaker

Ingredients 1 beer multiplied by 2 shots of cheap whiskey The week after Homecoming was a rough one for W.A Bénak, and not just because he had a hangover spanning… Read more »

Wheelock’s Fountain of Youth

Wheelock’s Fountain of Youth

  Gallons of New England Rum Gallons of Malaga Wine Pounds of sugar Hundreds of lemons Dozens of limes 1 pound of nutmeg ’Twas a Friday night in the springtime,… Read more »

Hanover Iced Tea

Hanover Iced Tea

1 part Gin 1 part White Rum 1 part Silver Tequila 1 part Vodka 1 part Triple Sec 1 part Simple Syrup 1 part Lemon Juice Cola to Taste 1… Read more »

The Bishop

The Bishop

A fine crystal glass filled with Madeira A teaspoon of lemon juice A teaspoon of sugar A dash of nutmeg Don Pablo entered the hall three minutes late, but with… Read more »

The Big White Rally

The Big White Rally

Ice, ice baby Dying traditions Global warming President Phil Hanlon looked out across the melting snow, a frown breaking his normally apathetic expression. The world was coming to an end…. Read more »

The Smell of Treason in the Evening

The Smell of Treason in the Evening

1 bottle of Stolichnaya vodka 1 BIC lighter, rainbow-print design with a small hammer and sickle sticker 1 tremendously hand-sewn American flag (made in Trump’s America) Colonel Phil Hanlon ’69… Read more »

2020: Ameer’s Dartmouth

2020: Ameer’s Dartmouth

Banned hard alcohol Dear Old Dartmouth, It is with great sadness that I write to you about the situation on the ground at Dartmouth College, the once great College on… Read more »

MAGA!

MAGA!

1 part Limiting Access to Abortion 2 parts Dirt-covered Hands of the Working Man 1 part “Marriage is between a man and a woman” Garnished with the Second Amendment Served… Read more »