Being Offended: A Dartmouth Tradition

The following blitz was sent by “AfriCaSo” this afternoon, purportedly in response to an offensive blitz (reproduced below) which was sent out yesterday regarding Jim Yong Kim’s appointment. Dartlog also urges its readers to remain calm in the face of this admittedly sophomoric missive–only the specially-trained first responders at OPAL are qualified to deal with this calamity, which in our estimation scores somewhere between the Rape of Nanking and Japanese internment on the Richter Scale of injustice.

(Full text after the jump)

From: AfriCaSo-Info@Dartmouth.EDU
Subject: Distressing sentiments
Date: March 3, 2009 3:32:57 PM EST
To: Recipient list suppressed

Hey everyone,

Members of Dartmouth community received the blitz below today. As you read this blitz, I caution you all to wait for administrators in OPAL to fully investigate the circumstances before acting.

Here it is:

This is the Generic Good Morning Message for March 3, 2009.

Yesterday came the announcement that President of the College James Wright will be replaced by Chinaman Kim Jim Yong. And a little bit of me died inside.

It was a complete supplies.

On July 1, yet another hard-working American’s job will be taken by an immigrant willing to work in substandard conditions at near-subsistent wage, saving half his money and sending the rest home to his village in the form of traveler’s checks. Unless “Jim Yong Kim” means “I love Freedom” in Chinese, I don’t want anything to do with him. Dartmouth is America, not Panda Garden Rice Village Restaurant.

Y’all get ready for an Asianification under the guise of diversity under the actual Malaysian-invasion leadership instituted under the guise of diversity. It’s a slippery slope we are on. I for one want Democracy and apple pie, not Charlie Chan and the Curse of the Dragon Queen. I know I sure as shit won’t ever be eating my Hop dubs bubs with chopsticks. I like to use my own two American hands.